Tuesday, November 19, 2013

The Ugly Eats : Canned Eel

Hello, David here, and once again, I have another food review.






TODAY'S MENU: Canned Eel (Roasted) with Black Beans

I visited the H-Mart in Edison, looking around the canned goods section for something to do a culinary test run when  I stumbled upon this, never having tried eel myself.  Sure, I've had unusual delicacies (for an American anyway) such as beef tripe, animal cartilidge, fish roe, and shrimp paste, but I never actually tried eel.

Normally when we think of eels, we think of the scary, dangerous, snakelike water creature that gives you a painful electric shock if you try to grab it.   But the "eel" in this can isn't the same eel you're probably thinking of.   In fact, an electric eel isn't really an 'eel' at all, but is what's known as a "knifefish" as a member of the Gymnotiformes (Source: http://www.fishbase.org/).  The eels that the fishmongers sell and chefs prepare are members of the Anguillformes, the "true" eels, and therefore, the fishermen who gather this stuff and the cooks that prepare them can't get electrocuted by touching these 'eels', simply because, they're not the same eels.

They're also popularly eaten as seafood in Scandinavia, China, Korea Japan, and Vietnam.  You can eat them stir fried, barbecued on a stick, or have them sitting on top of a pillow of rice as sashimi.

So no, nothing bad is going to happen to you when you eat them.

Besides, the poor fish is dead anyway.  What harm can it do? 

...

Well, enough of the Biology lesson, let's get on to eating it shall we?

I actually had a bit of a bother trying to get this stubborn tin open.  I tried using the can opener on my Swiss Army Knife, but the weird half elliptical/rectangle shape would cause the can opener to jam, getting oil and bean gunk on it.  So I had to go out and purchase a dedicated can opener (the ones that cut using metal wheels, which you turn with a handle) at the convenience store.  I ended up wasting an extra $6.00.  Anyway, I finally get the thing open, and I get this:

 It looks NOTHING like the picture on the package.

Compared to the picture above, it looks like a family of roaches decided to open a little nest in the packaging, but in reality doesn't actually  look THAT bad. Nothing smells off,there's no leak on the tin, so there's no risk of me catching botulism.   Thing is, I wasn't expecting the fish to be so....stiff.  When I poke it with my fork, it doesn't flake or fall apart, but stays perfectly firm.  I take a piece with my fork, put it in my mouth, chew, and let it linger around my tongue for a while, and strangely enough, it tastes....sweet.   It tastes nothing what I'd expect "Roasted Eel with Fermented Black Beans" to taste like.  I'm not getting any saltiness or yeasty flavors, and I'm not getting much savoriness from the eel.   The best way I can describe it,is that it tastes like, "candied fish".  It's stiff and it tastes sugary, and is very much unlike what I came in and expected this stuff would taste like.  The flavor of the beans are unremarkable, and they sort of crumble in your mouth with no flavor.  Deciding not to waste any food, I scrape the remaining pieces onto a bread roll and eat.



 I have to say, I was actually disappointed with my purchase.  Then again, I'm eating something that's been canned and has had any and all trace of flavor leached and sapped out of it with preservatives, so I can't exactly be angry.   I'd like to try the real thing, but I don't really know where I can go out and buy the stuff without forking more than $20, without having to visit some ironic hole-in-the-wall hipster, posh 'chic', seafood joint in New York City, or in Brooklyn (ugh) where I'm expected to tip 200% of what I ordered.  I'm too poor for that,

I need to stop rambling over this.  I've already spilled my coffee on my laptop keyboard and can ill afford another one.  Better just shut up and deal with my dissapointment like a real man.

Score: 2 out of 5

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